My wife was in a cook’s fit this last night and this morning. Her yesterday’s bread did not rise because it was full of water. (Bear with me as I try to explain something I have no language for.) Then when she stopped trying to figure out what went wrong, she remembered using the 2 cup instead of a 1 cup for measure. So, being the creative cook that she is, she doubled the flour and other measures to balance with the extra water and put the bread in the fridge to stop it from rising. This morning she found that the bread rose despite the cold, and now it’s in the oven to see what will result from this second birth.
Which reminded me (ah, here we go, a language that I understand) of all of us parents who have adult children who have come home half baked and don’t seem to be able to leave until the bread is fit to eat.
Our children are like loaves of bread, and we may not always get the recipe just right, and forever after the bread just doesn’t taste right. Everyone knows what good bread tastes like, no matter what the recipe. And each of our children is a different recipe. But what happens is that we get one recipe we like and try to use it with a different bread. This doesn’t work. Each bread must follow its own recipe.
So when the loaf comes home to haunt the cook, what does the cook do? Try to recook the bread with the same recipe? No. Won’t work.
So how do we find the original recipe that was lost or never used many years ago? I think it’s possible to find it. I may be wrong, but I do because I believe in creative design. If the original design or recipe was the wrong one, the right one exists. We just have to be creative in order to find it.
Here is the recipe for finding a creative design. First, let go of the old recipe. Throw it out. Forget it. Gone. That means all your old recipes for parenting, all your shoulds and advice from friends and memories of what your mom and dad would have done or did with you.
Second, accept the fact that you don’t know what the creative recipe is. It has to be revealed to you, or written in the space the old one left.
Third, accept the fact that the adult/child wants to find the creative design as much as you do, and wants you to give him/her the space to find it. The adult/child will feel that space when he/she feels accepted for what they are by you. We know when someone, especially a parent, is trying to put an old recipe on us. It doesn’t taste good.
Fourth, Be patient. Some bread takes a long time to rise.
It is not easy to let go of the old recipe, and you will be tested so you can find the old ingredients you are still holding on to. Have faith, the bread will rise.
If you love to cook and love to eat great bread as I do, then this recipe for half-baked loaf may work for you
Now, I can’t tell you if it has worked for me yet, I’m still in the fourth stage. But I have faith it will.
Posted under General Observations
This post was written by ed on January 12, 2006