Observations that dive deep into life and come up with treasures for all

Why do single girls and women risk everything for the bride’s flowers when they are thrown towards the end of the wedding. It is said that whomever catches them will have good fortune in getting married themselves. Of course, many just stand there when the flowers reach them, leaving it up to the believers to reach for the bouquet. But for those who do leap there is great joy.

Perhaps good fortune is in the heart that is pure. Belief from a pure heart is so much stronger than belief from a doubting heart. The one who leaps with the greatest faith that the flowers will make her dreams come true alwlays catches the flowers….It almost seems that there is only one universal bride and groom. An ideal or archetype that all individual brides and grooms are forms of. So through the throwing of the flowers the next bride is chosen. And through the garter, the next groom is chosen. In this way the Eternal Bride and Groom are every renewing themselves.

Posted under General Observations, weddings

Why do brides look in the mirror and photographers take pictures of them? It is a standard wedding photograph. What is the bride looking for….her beauty, perhaps. Is it still there? Did it arrive on time? Is it late? Will it ever get here? These are the questions she asks the mirror. Whether or not the bride sees her beauty depends on the cleanliness of her mind. If the mirror (or the mind) is spotted up with worries about the flowers, the hair, the makeup, the reception music, etc., then the mirrow will only reflect her worries, not her beauty.

But, if she has surrendered to the wedding and let what will be be, then her mind is clean and she will be able to perceive her true beauty. If not, well, then it will be up to someone else with a pure mind to see her beauty. She hopes it is her groom.

Posted under General Observations, weddings

This morning my humming bird feeder was rich with tiny birds hovering in for the divine nectar of sugar and water. At first this year is was a couple of hummers, now a gang of them appear every morning. Apparently, feeders are fast food in the hummers’ world. Even small yellow jackets swarm in for a sip. One was so greedy he got stuck in the nectar hole and couldn’t back out, even when I nudged him with my finger. Some jackets were dead in the feeder itself. Don’t know how they got in there. Nectar has its good side and a bad side. A little is good, too much, not so good. And what will happen when the feeder is gone. Will the hummers have forgotten how to sip from flowers? And is artificial nectar that good for them? Perhaps the red coloring will have side effects.

Our world is full of feeders now, offering all kinds of nectar, every shape and form you can imagine: TV, internet, bill boards, radio, magazines, store fronts…..all setting out their sugar and water for the hungry hummers. What would we do if all the feeders suddenly disappeared? Will we have forgotten where the flowers are?

Posted under General Observations

With digital imaging now being done by the photographer instead of a lab technitian, brides and mothers are striving for greater and greater perfection in the portrait image. Take out that wrinkle, smooth out that line, lower that dress, soften that shadow, smooth that skin. The image rules. When photography first began, just taking the image was miracle enough. No one thought of fixing it. The image was what it was, the subject was what it was…not what it is supposed to be.

But now we have access to the Ideal of the perfect bride and we superimposed our ideal on and bride and try to get like it. This is fun for many, very serious for others. But I wonder, where does this ideal of the perfect bride come from. Magazines? Perhaps. Or maybe we glimpse something heavenly about the Bride, something so beautiful that it transcends the common place, the ordinary everyday person. Each bride aspires to that ideal, that unreachable sense that perfection that is just beyond that wrinkle. But the beauty of the Bride is not in the perfection of the details that make up the image, but in the inner beauty that shines through the image. We just want to remove the veil that hides this beauty. That’s what we really want…..to just lift the veil.

Posted under General Observations, weddings

I love making BW prints of my bridal portraits. BW photography is gaining popularity again after our love affair with color prints that began in the 50′s. Of course, all those prints have faded now, but the BW are still as young as ever. And today’s interest in “reality” vs “staged” photography lends to this return of BW. A BW picture seems timeless. Color says here and now…BW says forever. And our eyes are tricked by BW pictures. Without the usual meal of colors, the eyes go looking for something else to eat. Suddenly, form become interesting. Contex takes on a new importance. These morsels attract the eyes and the mind is shown something it hadn’t seen before when color ruled. Something inner is revealed in the image, something passed by before, but now standing there in full light and shadows waiting to be seen.

BW images have patience. They can stand and wait for a long time for someone to notice what they uncover. They know they won’t fade so they can wait.

Posted under General Observations, weddings

When brides come for their portraits it is the first time they have worn their new dress other than at home. Now they are getting photographed in it, and suddenly the awareness blooms like a flower in their mind: Hey, this is getting real! It is also a test run for the dress: how do you sit in this thing; loose threads get discovered; the mechanics of the train are worked on. I tell my brides to practice bustling the train because I’ve seen some brides waste 30 minutes of their reception trying to figure out the darn thing. A bridal gown is a beautiful thing…but it sure is a lot of work. So the bridal portrait is when the Bride comes out for a trial run. And she is always happily surprised when she peeks at her portrait previews and sees how beautiful she is.
“Maybe my Groom will see me as I dream he will,” she hopes.

Posted under General Observations, weddings

Some weddings are for the bride and groom and some weddings are for the family. The bride and groom may just want to elope, to get it over with and be on their way into their life. And then the family comes in and says…Hey, we want a full church wedding with all the family trimmings. We want to enjoy this meal. So the Bride and Groom make the sacrifice and provide the meal. Some come like a couple of steers begin led to the slaughter: Where do you want me to stand? Where do these flowers go? Where do you want us to cut the cake? And so on. The Bride and Groom are like dough being mixed and baked into a proper cake. The family licks their fingers and enjoys the sweet taste.

Usually these family weddings are held intirely in the church. I call these weddings Cut and Run weddings.

Posted under General Observations, weddings

When Saturday comes, the day of the Wedding, there is great anticipation. For me, the photographer, it is like getting ready for a military mission. Check the equipment, double check the directions, go over in my mind what I need….there can be no mistakes. For the Bride and Groom they prepare as if they are going to meet someone that will change their lives. Some great event is about to happen that has never happened before, yet it has been happening since creation. A transformation is about to take place, like the worm turning into the butter fly, like the bud into the flower. So we prepare. Everything must be just right. There can be no mistakes….but, of course, there wil be…but they won’t really matter….unless you are the photographer.

Posted under General Observations, weddings

A weding has two layers. The First and biggest layer is the physical wedding we all know: we can see it, we can feel it, we can hear it, we can taste it, and we can touch it. This is the wedding for the senses. The Second layer may be present here or it may not. It is hard to tell right off. The Second layer of the wedding in the wedding of the souls. Here you don’t really need the First layer, but it is nice. With the First layer there is the choice and the planning. With the Second layer wedding there is also the choice, but you don’t make it. The Second layer of the wedding happens to you. We are not doing this wedding, you feel, this wedding is doing us. Second layer weddings are unplanned. They happen at just the right moment spontaneously. It is like you are the Minister, the Bride and Groom, and the Witness are rolled into One. You only know you are gettng married as you do it. These are the cheapest but the best weddings.

Posted under General Observations, weddings

Cutting the cake is the first major decision a married couple will make: Will I smash the cake in my Beloved’s face or not. It is also the first appearance of the Other as a separate willful being after the grand merging of separateness in the ceremony. Neither knows for sure what the other will do. Even when their is a pre-cake pact, there is doubt. Neither wants to go first, but if one goes for the smash, the other will soon follow, with a little extra smash for having to be last, or having the pact broken. So now the real marriage begins.

But what does the cake really represent, this smash fest notwithstanding? The cake is the three levels of creation: the material, the mental, and the spiritual. The Bride and Groom sit atop this creation as Kind and Queen. This whole world is being offered to them….They cut the Cake and feed it to each other. Thus they partake in the ritual eating of the offering. Their hands both hold the knife and they feed each other at the same time. They lick their lips to get all the sweetness. So where does this smashing come from? I just don’t know.

Posted under General Observations, weddings